Poinsettias are not poisonous, I have been asked to sing, Christmas photo

The rain will be gone by this afternoon so make sure you're in Smithville starting at 5 for a Christmas event. My Shan and Beth are doing family portraits FOR FREE starting at 5pm in historic downtown Smithville. They were at my house doing our family portrait just yesterday. It's well worth it. You can see the photo of me and Jim on the Magic site (under Jane gets around album) and myspace. Plus, there's all sorts of Christmas stuff in Smithville tonight. And the Algood Christmas parade is also tonight. And one of my very favorite movies is on Turner Classic. If you have never seen Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, you've got to at least record it. It's Marilyn Monroe and Jane Russell. And it's awesome. The songs, the gowns, the dialogue. You have to have seen it at least once.

 

Hey, did you buy your tickets for the radio show Saturday night? What's the delay? 528-1313. They're only five bucks.

The color of 2009 will not be worn by me. In short, it's yellow. According to Lee it's mimosa. The mimosa trees we know are pink, but some are yellow. The mimosa drink is yellow. Yellow is not my color. If it's not yours, you're in for a tough shopping year. However, you can always wear colors that are not complimentary to you away from your face. Miss Ellen doesn't do yellow. Or orange.

Stephen Colbert seems to be trying to start one. With whom? Kanye West. Why? Colbert wants to sell more records. Here's the deal: Kanye's latest album, 808s and Heartbreaks,is No. 1 on the iTunes chart. Colbert's A Colbert Christmas: The Greatest Gift of All is at No. 16. So Colbert attacked Kanye on Monday's show saying the rapper is an "egomaniac" for proclaiming to be the "voice of this generation." Says Colbert: "There's only one way to stop Kanye's arrogance and that is with my arrogance." That's the kind of thing I would say.His plan: Everyone needs to go to itunes today at 5 p.m. ET and buy Colbert's album. It's called Operation Humble Kanye. So funny.

Paris has a new BFF and it's Brittany the Las Vegas rocker. She won no prize, no money, just the friendship of Paris. Oh, I'm so happy.

Kristen Stewart (from Twilight) is set to portray Joan Jett in "The Runaways," the rock 'n' roll biopic of the 1970s all-girl band.

Jay Frankenfield stopped by to remind us that December 12 is National Poinsettia Day (Congress made it so) and POINSETTIAS ARE NOT, AND NEVER HAVE BEEN POISONOUS. He didn't yell it, but I felt the need to. Go see the many, many different types he has at Burgess Falls Nursery. He has row after row that he grows all summer. Beautiful.

Our friend Brien has asked me to sing. And record it. He has made the mistake in assuming that because I have a pleasant speaking voice that it translates. I find this hilarious. You can enjoy Brien, who can sing, by clicking on him through my myspace-Brien Travis. The idea is so funny to me I am forced to say yes just so we can all laugh. I know the disaster that it will be. He does not. He wants to do Baby It's Cold Outside. A duet. Again, he can sing. I know my limitations. However, for the sake of providing you with some comedy, I will do it.

Entertainment Weekly has named Seth McFarlane, Family Guy creator, the smartest guy in show business. Family Guy made like a billion dollars last year. Merchandising people. Tina Fey is the second smartest. She writes, produces, and acts. Lots of fingers, lots of pies, lots of money.


Dancing with the Stars will be back March 9.

 

Choose Your News

TOSSING THE TWINKIES

Tossing your Twinkies isn't the same as losing your lunch. At least not at the University of Montana. Some Grizzlies fans have made it a tradition to toss Twinkies when their team scores a touchdown. Brian Horner says he and his buddies go through about a hundred bucks worth of Twinkies during a game -- that's 40 boxes of the snack cakes. It's now gotten to the point where some of the opposing players actually ask for Twinkies.

A DIRTY JOB

It's a dirty job -- but someone has to do it. So, Milwaukee County inmates can knock some time off their sentences by cleaning up human waste, blood and bodily fluids at the jail. Prisoners get an hour off for each hour they have to mess with the mess. Sheriff David Clarke says it's a cost effective alternative to having the job done by county workers. He adds the inmates get biohazard training and protective gear. One inmate got 13 days knocked off his sentence. That means he spent more than 300 hours in the muck.


or THE COLOR OF THE YEAR

Say hello to -- yellow. Color experts are predicting yellow will be color of the year for 2009. Leatrice Eiseman of the Pantone Color Institute says sunny yellow will help relieve the current mood of doom and gloom. Expect bright yellow on everything from home appliances to fashions. Designer Michael Kors has already shown a retro yellow polka-dot bikini. Eiseman adds you better get used to seeing yellow in some unexpected places. For the record, ``blue iris,'' a purple-tinged blue, was the 2008 color of the year.

 

Slanguage Language Quiz

HAM AND EGGER

a) a regular person

b) a big mistake

c) your eyes and mouth

A